Everything I Started With is Gone

by Lightning Books

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about

The third song from my debut album as Lightning Books is out now.
This song is called “Everything I Started With is Gone” and is another collaboration with composer/violinist @myrthevandeweetering who wrote the arrangement and played the violin parts. The gorgeous cello playing is by @paucello
This song and the others on the album were mixed and mastered by Remko Schouten at @ijlandstudio in Amsterdam (Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks, Mark Kozelek/Sun Kil Moon, Devendra Banhart, Jason Molina).
The song is written as a sort of 50s style orchestral pop song but with very pretty atypical theme for the lyrics. It’s about the exhaustion that fear can lead to, and I guess specifically the kind of irrational fear of loss that love can cause.
The suggestion to add a bridge to the song came from Myrthe. It reminds me a bit of a cross between “The Jigsaw Puzzle of Life” by Kate & Anna McGarrigle, which my parents used to play on car journeys; and “Untitled God Song” by #haleyheynderickx

lyrics

As it gets laterer, I will get lazier
With my words
The battery’s low now, the words coming slow now,
We might not have long.
And it’s sinking in like a drink that is spilled
That I don’t care about ‘til too late.
Maybe with time
It won’t catch the eye
A reminder of careless ways.
I should
Feel lighter because
Everything I was
And everything I started with is gone.
Now I know why
I wake with such a fright
It’s the one thing
I’m scared to lose
Or to leave behind.
‘Til the parting
I will keep it by my heart
It’s the one thing
That will keep it beating.
And I’m not sure how long I’ll be here
I just moved here I can’t leave too soon
Come on in then and
Stretch out your legs
Make yourself at home
Bring furniture.
I should
Feel lighter because
Everything I was
And everything I started with is gone.

credits

released February 10, 2021

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Lightning Books Amsterdam, Netherlands

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@lightning_books

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